Eric had his second visit to the acupuncturist, this afternoon. His first visit had him in just as much pain as when he started, but this afternoon, after he was finished, he was actually able to slowly stand up straight! Moving in the right direction! It didn’t last, and he was bent over and in pain again by the time we got home, but it was just nice to see him stand tall. The acupuncturist agreed with our chiropractor that we may very likely need a second opinion from a different neurosurgeon. Once I get all the insurance stuff figured out, we can start pursuing that direction.
The chiropractor believes that there may be a possibility that there is something really wrong, and that something happened during surgery. We don’t know how long the acupuncture benefits will last, especially if there really is something wrong. Another MRI is the next thing that needs to be done after the insurance is figured out.
This afternoon, Eric and I were remembering the difference from a week ago to today. Last week, he came home from work very tired and in quite a bit of pain, and this week, he can’t stand up and has trouble getting dressed. Whatever this is, it’s happening very fast for him. Hopefully, the acupuncture will slow the decline down and maybe even make the pain more manageable, but we both feel like we have to have some answers. So far, from the surgeon and others, we have heard only a sympathetic nod and a comment about just having to deal with the pain and work through it and strengthen the core.
As I was praying during class tonight, I was reminded that God allows these trials into our lives not to destroy us, but to sanctify us. Sometimes as we seek God’s will for our lives and endeavor to do it with all our hearts, we find that the road to God’s will is not what we expected it to be. I think that we often think God’s will for us is not difficulty, pain, or persecution, or even death. But sometimes, it is. If we are truly willing to give our whole lives to God, we must remember not to take it back when it no longer suits us or does not bring about the results we wish for. Eric and I are learning about surrender. Not just surrendering our goals and dreams, but also our independence, our talents, and even our physical bodies. Allowing God to take everything away without complaint. I’m still struggling with that. We’ve been reading the book of Job in church as part of our scripture reading, and a few times I have nearly cried in hearing the frustration in Job’s voice with the pain and suffering he was going through, and the hopelessness in his heart. Yet, God had a bigger plan for Job, and, although the path was hard and painful, Job came face to face with God speaking to him, and Job came through the trial. Trials come, and we shouldn’t ask for an ending. We need to ask for strength to go through them. It’s not the destination or the end of a long road. It’s the journey and what we learn along the way. May God be glorified in our lives as we walk this journey that He has chosen for us.